Things I've Heard

It has been a real adjustment going back to work full time and I am finding that if I have a few moments of free time I just want to sit in a vegetative state staring at the TV or play mindless games on Facebook. Now, over a month in, I am slightly less exhausted. I have high hopes of cooking meals that don't involve hotdogs this week and blogging more often. To begin, I offer you snippets of conversations from the past few weeks.

Noah started identifying sarcasm. I'm noticing that I use it frequently since he is continually saying, "Let me guess, you're being sarcastic?" I now have started ending things by saying, "And yes, I'm being sarcastic." He's usually right on with his sarcasm claim except for the few times he confuses it with my ambivilant responses.

Joshua asked if the plate and cup I was using were bought together. I said, "Yes, they're a cup and saucer." He replied, "Does that mean there's an alien in the cup?"

Noah: What's the strongest non-human thing?

Me: God.

Noah: Besides God?

Me: I don't know.

Noah: Gravity. Gravity is the power of a black hole and black holes can trap the speed of light.

- Noah makes my head hurt.

Noah and Ian at the store...

N: Listen, I can fart with my hands.

I: I can fart under my arm.

N: I can fart with my arm too.

I: I can fart with my legs.

N: You can?! I've never done that!

- The talent runs deep in our family.

Noah's Christmas List to Date:

• skateboard
• smartboard
• plane ticket to Wipeout
• violin - He refers to this as the unexpected thing on his list. Apparently, plane tickets to try out for reality shows are to be expected. If this list sticks he is going to find Santa extremely disappointing this year.

When Noah told me he would like to have a little sister I said that we weren't planning on having any more kids. This led to uncomfortable territory when he said he didn't get how you planned it. Yikes. I'm not ready for that conversation yet.

Finally, the latest was not a conversation but the reaction I got from Noah when saying goodbye at Kids Club this week - he shrugged me off! It was probably a good thing I was running behind, as usual, so I couldn't break down sobbing on the floor and really embarrass him.

- In case you're thinking I'm not paying enough attention to Joshua by his lack of coverage here, I must defend myself by telling you that Noah NEVER stops talking. It is only because his loud, piercing voice sears into my brain that I am able to remember any of what he says. Joshua is funny in a less "in your face" sort of way.